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“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only ­supposed to climb.” (Najwa Zebian)



I've spent my life carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, never learning how to let it go. I always feared what would happen if I just dropped it. Who would pick it up? By mid 2019, I just couldn't carry anymore. I began the practice of turning my pessimistic worries into "what if's" in the most optimistic sense. Well, what *if* all of these scenarios I am worrying about *did* work out? What if everything turned out alright? I've always had an active imagination, I just never knew how to use it in my favor. I think I've always been afraid of being let down so I've convinced myself it's best to just always plan and expect the worst but that takes a heavy toll over almost 30 years. Last October I climbed this mountain. All 8,839 feet of it. I did it with an amazing partner and the incredible people we met along the way. Climbing this mountain was so much more than a day hike for me. It changed my life. I needed to show myself, in the most challenging year of my life, that I could go from valley to mountain and all the way back down again. I needed to prove to myself that it was possible. With planning such a climb, you have to consider weight. You start evaluating what's worth carrying and what's worth leaving. This practice is one I have to remind myself of everyday.



"To Cimb, Not to Carry" unframed original oil painting, 18"x24"

To Climb, Not To Carry